True thought of the day/night whatever: Checking out people you never talk to is so much easier and less complicated when you don't talk to them.
Also, it's interesting to note to myself - that
# I am not asleep and I should be because it is very late and I realise that I am very sleepy.
# It's really hard to feel pretty. I think I try so hard because I never get it right. That feeling pretty feeling, it just doesn't come naturally to me. I start feeling it a little bit, and then I see a group of people so much moreso I just die a little inside and pretend it doesn't mean a lot. Which it shouldn't. But as I said before - I grew up chubby and scared and I've grown up tall and scared. It doesn't change much.
# I had an amazing love-filled night that made the chubby girl inside me forget she was there anymore. but although I never really talk about it she's there and all you beautiful confident girls scare me.
# I am scared
# I am scared of loving recklessly and being forgotten.
That's it, and I'm crying - but I'm happy.
I'm just
Waiting for Chris Martin to tell me he'll fix me.
There. Better now. Yes off to bed now.
You all inspire me x
P.P.S the scarier thought is that I'll be forgotten (or WE'LL speaking on behalf of anyone that relates to me) for the more obvious faults I own. Like my personality. LOL Things people say to me stick with me forever. I still think that I'm frustrating, and obnoxious and I think it will take many years, many travels and many smelly moments to get rid of that. Hopefully my future husband won't think I'm frustrating and obnoxious. I will try very hard not to be. Which is fucking LOL because the trying is what makes me 'obnoxious' in the first place. But yeah. Sucky personalities suck.
AND SOMEHOW NOW I'M LAUGHING WHAT THE FUCK LOL
THE MIND IS SO GLORIOUS.
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