Coldplay and inability to sleep sigh. 'zzzahhhhzzzzhaahhh' (the sound I just uttered as I was typing)
I forget sometimes.
I forget why I - yes I - fucked it up in the first place.
Why I said I wanted to stop. All those times
And then I start feeling that warmth for it again,
the warmth I try so hard to find with someone else.
And then you go and disappoint me for the five-billionth time and I remember why I said STOP.
I remember who you told me to be -
And how you never were how you were meant to be.
I'm going to stop pretending it doesn't kill to give up;
but that promise
It's not something you can hold on me, even how badly I want it.
I can't promise you anything, you know that
Not until you stop screwing up and forgetting to promise me back.
My cute tid-bit thought about boys: After much observation of the media/friends/family I have made many musings. You know how you invent a boy in your head when you read books? I doubt I'm the only one who does this, so I'm going to ask you one thing - don't you ever wish they were real? I know you do. Of course you do. And mid-way through your fantasy, you think to yourself 'dummy, that kind of boy doesn't exist.' But I challenge you to find one. I've been really analysing this, and I think every guy I know is a storybook boy in many many ways. However, I am yet to find a boy who'll either
a) throw rocks at my window or
b) make me a mix-tape of music to ask me out
BUT. I know ones who have potential. And although that potential isn't directed at me in particular, I think if someone I know can do it for a girl they love... there's a chance one day someone out there will be inspired by me. Haha. I sound so single and cheesy. But it's true.
I think if my life fails I may just attempt to be the new Nicholas Sparks :)
I forget sometimes.
I forget why I - yes I - fucked it up in the first place.
Why I said I wanted to stop. All those times
And then I start feeling that warmth for it again,
the warmth I try so hard to find with someone else.
And then you go and disappoint me for the five-billionth time and I remember why I said STOP.
I remember who you told me to be -
And how you never were how you were meant to be.
I'm going to stop pretending it doesn't kill to give up;
but that promise
It's not something you can hold on me, even how badly I want it.
I can't promise you anything, you know that
Not until you stop screwing up and forgetting to promise me back.
My cute tid-bit thought about boys: After much observation of the media/friends/family I have made many musings. You know how you invent a boy in your head when you read books? I doubt I'm the only one who does this, so I'm going to ask you one thing - don't you ever wish they were real? I know you do. Of course you do. And mid-way through your fantasy, you think to yourself 'dummy, that kind of boy doesn't exist.' But I challenge you to find one. I've been really analysing this, and I think every guy I know is a storybook boy in many many ways. However, I am yet to find a boy who'll either
a) throw rocks at my window or
b) make me a mix-tape of music to ask me out
BUT. I know ones who have potential. And although that potential isn't directed at me in particular, I think if someone I know can do it for a girl they love... there's a chance one day someone out there will be inspired by me. Haha. I sound so single and cheesy. But it's true.
I think if my life fails I may just attempt to be the new Nicholas Sparks :)
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