There are some things I do

to myself, that make me a mess. But they distract me from stress - which to me is destructive. So I guess it's okay.

Haha. So I opened my old phone to look for stuff to make me... I dunno. I don't even know.

So like here's a random anonymous shit post so I can release whatever it is I'm feeling right now.

- Why did I have 'Xoxo Gossip Girl' after your name in my contacts? LOL. Reading those texts just makes me smile. To have that in itself is something I will probably search for in a friend for a really long time. I mean half the shit we talked about HAHA. I wonder what I was thinking in my right mind to even risk to screw that up. What the fuck was I on?!

- And to eskimo, how did I not notice you were always trying to talk to me... and make sure everything was okay? '09'10'11 weaving in and out of consciousness. I guess you're here now for real and it's kinda weird to think you were sort-of-there for so long.

Haha it's funny because I turned on the phone and the contact name really was that. It wasn't for artistic purposes.

mmm clarity comes when you least expect it. 

I miss my friends haha.