She ain't a pussy

"oh no, you're not one of those girls are you?" in reference to diary-like blogging ...
I got that comment off someone recently, and although I think they meant it in an endearing way, I was still like freaking out like WHAT?!? Why? Is there something wrong? And then I thought about it - hmm. Yeah, I guess there is a bit of a problem with baring your soul on the interwebs - It makes you vulnerable. However, vulnerability can be considered virtuous to some people - not many people, but some people. And whatever, at least that bundle of people get it... I think...

So I just came home (to my new house) after a few nights of being away and going out etc. I was surprised at how much I just wanted to clean and do mundane things. I seriously am sitting on the couch watching free-to-air TV because I simply haven't done something boring like that that in a few days - and to do that in my own house, with no pants on and drinking hot tea feels like a privelidge.

Anyway, I was recently at this party, and I met someone that I really didn't click with. I was like avoiding this person, realising as I briefly talked to her that she was the kind of person I would have previously drawn myself a beeline towards in HS if I was ever at a party. Seriously one of those weird moments, like (mind me for sounding blunt, this sounds harsh as the metaphor in my head, but I'll write it anyway) - You know how in adulthood/aging people say your tastes and preferences or understanding of what is "beautiful" changes? Just like with music - you might like rap now, but give it 40 years and you'll be sitting at a cafe humming reggae or something - jazz, I dno. Anyway I was thinking - maybe as we mature, our taste in people can change too? See, It does sound harsh. I can't really explain..

I see beauty a lot differently now. Like in the cheesy ways, It's only been a year of being more on my own  and all these agreeable qualities I've had built up for judging someone as "awesome" I'd learned from my previous bubble-wrapped social upbringing seem to have fizzled away. Those that seemed shiny and untouchable then, are now dim in comparison to whom and what I see now. Does that make sense?

It's like I'm smelling the sweetest, most bountiful bunch of flowers for the first time (on a non-allergy day, lul) - and it's fucking delicious