i hate seeing you online.
i hate feeling like you're one word away,
but i ruined it
so now there's endless amounts of distance between us.
and i know that this can never change
this will never change.
have i eaten dinner today? i forget.
hahaha, that's what i hate about holidays. getting lost in this insomniac crazy state that causes more thinking than usual. and for some, including me, i guess that's fatal.
but i need to be happy.
because you need to pretend to be happy for other people so they like you.
it is true. isn't it?
i had the courage today. i had the courage and then when i thought i could finally handle it...
my body closed up and it didn't let me let go.
